Asking for Help is a Work in Progress

I never was good at asking for help in my music career because most of the time I am confronted with discouraging words like…….

Get a job….UHM I have a job actually three the cost of being a musician should not be siphoned by the cost of living.

If your not good enough no one will pay…..I’ve been gigging for ten years for national and international acts…and I am still in debt.

Negative Negative Negative

Over the years I have internalized these negative thoughts into truths that have somewhat frozen me into thinking I am not deserving of good things.

As I approach the release of this record this Friday. that thinking ends today and I have to thank all of you for supporting my album before it drops.

80/100 of you have gotten the record physically or digitally and I am so eternally thankful.

Brian

ADWL

My First Vinyl... Imposter Syndrome and Feeling Unworthy

Today is Monday, October 9th, 2023, and my record drops on Friday October 13, 2023. I will be honest I feel fearful. I feel fearful because every record I have made I thought was great, but often my records put me in some form of financial debt. Today I am currently in 102,000 dollars worth of debt inclusive of car, credit, and student debt and much of it is related to playing music.

I can’t help but feel paralyzed about my life decisions especially given I have yet to feel successful or be fiscally sustainable in my pursuits or ambitions.

Many in my peer groups speak about “the album that changed my life” I don’t know if I have the ability to do that for others, I am not sure if my music or my personality helps others, if anything I feel very afraid that I am not enough and as I type this blog I feel afraid most people don’t understand me.

I’ve tried a lot of different things on this record, and I tried my best to make it cohesive and I am not sure if this record will be felt by others like I want the record to be felt.

After years of trauma, surviving heartbreak, abuse, and the lost of loved ones all I can do as a musician is keep trying. If this record does not get heard or seen in my community then all I can do is move forward.

I know these feelings are temporary, but I hope that I am able to get the financial support through sales and concerts to be able to keep moving forward as an artist.

PS : The freemium model never served me as a marginalized model , giving things away for free made me broke, not supported.

Brian

ADWL

The Last Day of Summer/ Gratitude

I wish this was a long drawn out blog entry but it is not.

Today is the last day of summer…..and I am thankful.

Releasing music is hard , very hard sometimes youre forced to ask yourself things that can lead you down a rabbit hole of self doubt like…

Am I good enough?

Will I make enough to justify doing a tour?

Will I be able to break even after all of the costs it took me to get here?

Am I moving forward or moving backwards?

Is this the beginning of the end?

It doesn’t have to be that way, but sometimes my anxiety tells me it needs to be that way. I think this is because in my own head I want to be a better musician. I want to break the ceilings given to me due to systematic injustices. I have a burning desire to create , share, travel and repeat and I want to be sustainable about it.

The record drops on October 13th and is available across streaming channels and I am working on getting the word spread out and I just want to pause and say thank you and I hope everyone enjoys the last day of summer.

It’s pretty crazy how this summer has gone from doing podcast interviews, local access tv interviews, live action interviews, and a US tour with a band. I have a long way to go , but I am getting there.

Nothing is easy in life, it’s all a marathon and we are just running.

Thank you all to everyone who has preordered so far, if you have not check it out here.

Portland, Oregon

Community Matters: Donate to the Together Community Arts Center

2023 is the year of community. People need it, people want it, but how do we hold on to community? Community is held through the creation of a physical space where events, workshops, and skill sharing is held.

Justin Arena and I playing in Pittsburgh,PA

My bandmate Justin Arena and friend Brian Fitzgerald is attempting to do this very thing in the South Shore of Massachusetts by creating the Together Community Art Center( TCAC) . While I am from Philadelphia and currently live in the outskirts of Boston I have come to learn that localism and local support is very strong in Massachusetts. Arena and their colleagues are striving to maintain community and build something that they wish they had as a youth.

Photo of me playing at the third Annual Together Fest at the Chess Company in Rockland,MA

Arena’s vision for the TCAC is to “create a cultural center that they never got as a child.” While the South Shore and Greater Boston area is a home for many great musicians, performers, and comedians it does lack an all inclusive space that supports marginalized individuals and provides extra curricular resources for creatives. The TCAC will be a future hub for creatives looking to find a new home.

As a DIY folk punk and multi-genre musician we all know that all ages spaces are needed across every town and city in America and the world. The TCAC is something bigger than an art space for music to be performed, it’s a hub for growth, community, and creative building for the unheard and the ones who wish to be seen.

If you believe that the arts need a village to grow and we all need to bridge the gap between access and creativie growth please consider spreading the word and providing a donation.

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Playing Guitar for Spoken Word Poet, Fragile Bird

My friend Craig Bidiman aka Fragile Bird has released his record, A Remedy for Ringing Ears . This record is special to me because Craig and I have known each other through our mutual friend Chris Hantman ( Sounds and Tones Records) for a number of years and I am finally able to work with him. Fragile Bird is a vulnerable and honest spoken word that speaks on a variety of topics from mental health, sobriety, self-improvement, and the catharsis of life.

Craig wanted an acoustic instrumental to write over Waltz for Venus, a song that speaks on sexual liberation, capitalism, toxic masculinity, and sexual inequality in our world. Check it out today.

While I am getting ready for the release of my new record, planning tours, etc. etc I am happy to spread the word for Craig. Collaboration is one my biggest values as a musician and I am glad to keep doing it after the past 10 years.

PS as of today I have cowritten and recorded with 27 different songwriters, you can listen to all of my contributions and collaborations here. Also I feel pretty cool to be on a record where Levi the Poet and HAUNTER are featured, thats pretty cool to me,

49 Days Until the record drops, preorder info coming soon, another collab coming soon :)

My First In Person Live Podcast- Talking to U-Go Boy Podcast

A few weeks ago I had a podcast interview with U-Go Boy Podcast in Newark New Jersey . Despite being interviewed by approximately 25 different podcasts ( across all platforms) , I never have been interviewed in person and that have that interview broadcasted. Oddly enough, I had no idea what direction to look at the camera, but the interviewed turned out pretty well. Ugo and I are old friends from college who used to play in open mic circuits at State College, PA

We discussed topics ranging from our origin stories as artists, navigating the internet, my newest EP Tour is Not a Road Trip and my upcoming album to be released by Ur Mom Records. You can check out the interview today on Spotify or Youtube.

Thank you to U-Go Boy Podcast for the support ! Special Shout out to Meaghan of Sound Bites Media who also wrote up a review on Tour is Not a Road Trip.

Want Guitar Lessons? Hit up Fender Play

Looking for new gear hit up Fender Shop

Two Months and 12 Days Until The New Record Drops

In 2019 I began writing “A Stranger That You Met Before”

The title of the album is a play on words and questions the origins of friendship in an individualistic world. I hope that my music starts dialogue around the following; How do strangers become friends? How do you become friends with people in a digital world? How has music been a glue to your life to bring others together?

Before I played music, I was an awkward , depressed, anxious, and substance-addicted person. I wanted to end my life and I lacked purpose and direction. Music has provided me with gifts of friendship, sobriety, self care, discipline, and a renewed faith in God and myself. A Stranger That You Met Before is the beginning of a new chapter as a musician, it’s the beginning of my journey to inspire others and the beginning of being more direct about my intentions as a musician.

I am thankful for the individuals ( who will be listed at a later post) who contributed to this album, they are a diverse group of queer, creative, and collaborative people that I have met along the way as a result of my music journey. Inclusion and representation is important to me as a minority of many social groups. When I think about my social circles and the album itself, this is a sonically and lyrically diverse collection of songs that intend to remind people to be less cynical and more compassionate. When this record is released, I hope that others reflect on the meaning of friendship and think about what it means to be apart of a community that strives for social development and the inclusion of others who have struggled to find a home.

I am very proud of what I have done so far and I am proud of the people who have worked with me over the past few years, I hope that you enjoy this record and stay up to date on what is to come next.

Vinyl Preorder information will be coming soon, in the mean time you can presave the record for streaming.

Contact

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Origin Story: What Motivated Me To Write and Perform Music

How did I get here? How did we all start? Why don’t musicians talk more about their origin story when we are all hiding behind algorithms and filters?

In the fall of 2006, I started picking up the guitar. I wanted to learn guitar as a hobby and because I had friends who were playing in high school. I wanted to find another way to fit in with my social circles. I was a late bloomer and was learning during my freshman year of college. It was not until my first music theory class in 2008 I met a dude who changed the trajectory of my creative journey. His name was Chris who later became my bassist for the Uncle Father Oscar Split and live performer for the Philly house show arc.

Chris encouraged me to play shows, write tunes, and put myself out there after we ate a pizza on a weeknight. I remembered him saying “Every person has a voice, how they use their voice is what gives them the ability to create different kinds of music.” To this day that statement resonated with me and I began to learn how to play guitar and sing simultaneously.

I was no stranger to writing lyrics, but I was afraid of writing music with intent. My first songs were about college drama, getting drunk, etc. Chris and his bandmates inspired me to write with more intention. This new found inspiration lead to writing a song I played out in college called "Machines" which is a song about the fallacies of technology.

The support of my friends helped me find my own comfort zone, and being challenged by other creators helped me rediscover myself. Without friendship, I am not so sure if I would be the musician I am today.

Thanks for Reading

Merch

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